Rex's Scarf

SO I had just gotten home from watching that new very sad movie Slumdog Millionaire which is mostly about the POOR CHILDREN but also a little about gameshows when I get home and see that my Rexie has been at a party with AN ACTUAL POOR CHILD.

Look at this photo. This young boy is so poor that he doesn’t even OWN A SHIRT. It is so cold outside! No wonder he is at an Egyptian bar, he must have thought OOH SUN-RA and gone there for warmth. On top of this, he is wearing his GRANDFATHER’S spectacles. Just look at the expression on his face, he is obviously SO EMBARRASSED that this girl has come up to talk to him because she is a BEAUTIFUL INTERNET PRINCESS and he is a STREET URCHIN.

Rexie, I am disappointed in you. You have PLENTY OF BLAZERS, you should have given one to this boy. You should take a page from that nice Mr. Krucoff’s book. He does lots of charity with the children, I bet he would have given that poor boy something to wear, or at least some school supplies. I am A SCARF, FOR PETE’S SAKE, my social conscience should not be larger than yours. Charity begins at internet parties home.

Oh ho ho! I take a break from my FABULOUS travels to sit at an Internet Cafe and what do I see? REXPOSTORS!

I understand that my DARLING Rexie is the envy of all since women want him and men want to be him but SERIOUSLY people, if you are going to try and pull off Rex’s Signature Look™, you should probably try a little harder.

Rexpostor On The Left: Rex would never wear such a translucent sweater unless he was also shirtless. Also, button downs are for SQUARE BORINGS unless they are crushed velvet or some sort of metallic lamé. -10

Rexpostor On The Right: Do I look like houndstooth check to you? SNORT OF DERISION. Also, Rex does not smile. He pouts. BASICS, PEOPLE. -13

You win with the glasses, although the rims are ENTIRELY too opaque. More hair gel and a general sense of dramatic flair is needed.

I suppose your effort is worth some polite golf claps.

Bongiorno! I have left LE GAY PAREE and now I am in BELLA VENICE or whatever they call it I think there might be a Z and and A in there somewhere so maybe it’s Vaenizce? Actually I think that’s a place in Eastern Europe but ANYWAY there are a lot of pigeons here and one of them pooped on me which is SO GROSS and even Rex didn’t let pigeons do that but it’s okay because LOOKIE HERE at who I’M hanging out with, oh yeah, HOT GONDOLIER MAN. Last night he took me to a sweet party with a lot of under 35 year olds and there were NO DOUGHBOYS IN SIGHT so take that for your cool parties MAN WHO LEFT ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF. But I didn’t need you ANYWAY so you go hang out with that STUPID CHICKEN and I will be JUST FINE.

“Oh hey, Dad. Yeah, sure - I’ll, um, have a Bud.”

Bonjour, mes petites!

C’est MOI l’echarpe du Rex! I have been off on my own taking a quick jaunt around l’Europe and MON DIEU I love le GAY PAREE there are so many men who are so fashionable and BEAUCOUP de ladies wearing Hermes and even though they are high class SILK ECHARPES they talk to me (unlike SOME belt buckles who ignore you in airport newstands) but ANYWAY I hear that my darling Rexie is making un HYPER SPLASH dans les newspapers (I don’t know the word for that) and I shall have to throw him UN BIG PARTY when I return home. This is UN PHOTOGRAPHE of MOI on LE TOUR EIFFEL but it’s not really a tour that’s what they call towers in LA FRANCE I am UNE ECHARPE INDEPENDENTE and will not walk around in packs like a sheep (even though I am made of a mix of wool and rayon, I like to think that the rayon part of my GENEOLOGIE which is genetics is winning out here).

ANYWAY it is time for my boat cruise DANS WHATEVER RIVER IS NEAR HERE et then je will paint le town ROUGE (because je am rouge, ha ha!).

BISOUX mes petits choux et JE WILL TALK TO YOU SOON.

I’m a rhinestooooone cow-booooooy!

I really liked this print because of all of the scarves on it (duh) but I don’t like rabbits so I fixed it and now I think it looks much better.